In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions. For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary, clips, and insights from this episode.Thank you to our sponsorsAG1: https://drinkag1.com/hubermanLMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlabWaking Up: https://wakingup.com/hubermanMomentous: https://livemomentous.com/hubermanTimestamps

Chris Voss

Sponsors: LMNT & Waking Up

Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness

Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music

“Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing

Generosity

Sponsor: AG1

Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration

Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip”

Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions

Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries

“Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation

Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”

Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues

Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters”

Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience

Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes

Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling

Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality

Physical Fitness, Self-Care

Long Negotiations & Recharging

Hostages, Humanization & Names

Tactical Empathy, Compassion

Tool: Mirroring Technique

Tool: Proactive Listening

Family Members & Negotiations

Self Restoration, Humor

Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects

“Sounds Like…” Perspective