
Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour
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The Summer Bears’ reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they’re going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert’s absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale.
Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they’d ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn’t pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and stomach bugs to help close things out.
It’s been a wild six weeks, and the Summer Bears want to leave you with one last memory. You're welcome, f*ckers!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 303
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https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:01 - The Summer Bears' Last Dance
00:10:10 - Stoic Shit + Jump Scare Ad Break
00:17:14 - Moving Around & Finding Peace
00:24:12 - Bribing Cops With Pie & Being Addicted To Losing
00:33:06 - ChatGPT Sex Robots
00:41:26 - Swingers & Phoning It In With Bert
00:55:22 - Mark Normand & Sam Morril
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Aug 25
1 hr 7 min
Video

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour
Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets
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Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for another sugar-fueled Summer Bears meltdown—this time with bagels, tiramisu, and enough food guilt to keep a Catholic therapist booked for years. The boys break down Chris’ ChatGPT pep talk, reminisce about Stavvy's golden toothless years, and spiral into a deep dive on Neapolitan ice cream fraud, gay NFL cheerleaders, and the politics of bagel orders. Also: Chris reveals his VO2 Max results from a flamboyant fitness coach who may or may not have called him “zaddy.”
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 302
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:00 - 2 Pigs, 1 Pen
00:12:45 - Catholic Guilt Vs Greek Shame
00:23:33 - Sexual Awakenings In Mom's Bed
00:30:31 - A Demeaning Offer & ChatGPT Pep Talk
00:43:50 - Social Media & Rage For The Gays
00:52:01 - Men In Women's Sports
01:00:02 - Zaddy Chris
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Aug 18
1 hr 15 min
Video

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The Summer Bears are back and Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are fully locked into their takeover of 2 Bears 1 Cave. With Stav in a floral shirt and Chris squeezed into a Darryl Strawberry jersey, the two dive headfirst into tales of the wild ‘86 Mets, Kevin Spacey offering unsolicited shoulder rubs, and the horrifying science of ALS—because what’s funnier than degenerative nerve disease? Stavvy also gets a massage from Chrissy, we learn about Lenny Dykstra's podcast rates, and the guys debate polyamory, prostitutes, and just how many years Bert Kreischer has left.
Speaking of Bert, he sends the guys a morbid video asking them to predict which comedian friends are not long for this world. Plus, Stav makes a strong case for becoming a Japanese-style husband, Chris recounts a near-affair that lasted 12 seconds on the LIRR, and together they fantasize about future threesomes with suspiciously supportive fans.
Is it a good episode? No. Is it packed with fake current events, conspiracy theories, open marriages, and physical touch? You bet your bottom dollar it is.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 301
https://tomsegura.com/tour
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https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:42 - Baseball Greats, Kevin Spacey, & ALS
00:10:31 - Reading Fan Comments
00:27:20 - Swingers, Cucks, & Flirty Fans
00:36:33 - Montreal Screwjobs & Polyamory Shenanigans
00:44:58 - Trisha Paytas Baby Theory
00:51:34 - Comedian Death Pool
01:00:49 - Chrissy Massages Stavvy
01:07:23 - Wrap Up
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Aug 11
1 hr 11 min
Video

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-Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money. Use code BEARS at http://monarchmoney.com for half off your first year
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The Summer Bears are back and sweatier than ever as Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return to the Cave for a milestone 300th episode that somehow combines deep psychological trauma, ass-eating, and cholesterol awareness in one glorious mess. Chrissy D reveals his shocking bedtime history with his mom, his late-night transition out of her bed, and how a surprise with a tongue changed the trajectory of his life—and his act. Stav explains how a 3XL shirt, childhood grilled cheese binges, and SNL reruns turned him into the hairy Greek sex symbol we know today.
The bears also dive into the state of late night TV (RIP), Jurassic Park boners, and why Bert and Tom might end up bankrupt with nothing but podcast houses and Uncrustables to their name. Plus, an unhinged Monarch Money ad read, BlueChew boners, Turkish military anal policies, and a heartfelt video message from Tom Segura himself. Are the Summer Bears destined to do this foever? Stay tuned!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 300
https://tomsegura.com/tour
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https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:03:58 - Big Boy Shirts
00:10:15 - Tongue Punch Your Fartbox
00:19:21 - How Did This All Happen?
00:23:48 - Sleeping In Mom's Bed
00:37:17 - Stavvy's Hangups & Chrissy Late Night
00:48:27 - Bowel Movements & Old Sitcoms
00:54:39 - Stav & Chrissy's Movie Corner
01:00:47 - New Jurassic Park
01:05:01 - A Message From Tom Segura
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Aug 4
1 hr 11 min
Video

Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/
SPONSORS:
- Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box.
Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice).
The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness.
It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 299
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:08 - Chrissy Court Date
00:06:15 - From Physical Therapy To Comedy
00:18:25 - Happy Ending
00:28:45 - Lady Tom & Bert
00:34:32 - Female Stavvy & Chrissy
00:43:55 - Handy Women & Unhandy Men
00:53:07 - Benjamin Franklin
00:58:32 - MSG
01:03:36 - Wrap Up
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Jul 28
1 hr 8 min
Video

Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/
SPONSORS:
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Tom and Bert are out for the summer, so Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias are stepping in as your substitute Bears. In this unhinged takeover, they immediately derail the show with tales of cholesterol-fueled delusion, Nazi neighbors in Queens, circumcision conspiracies, radical acceptance, berberine powder, and why 4th of July is the real American holiday (sorry January 6).
The boys debate who’s the Bert and who’s the Tom in their pairing, accidentally rank the world’s races, and somehow end up talking about diabetes, Greek shame, and Japanese war crimes—all before diving into engagement stories, dad stress, and the magic of getting fat on purpose. Also, Bert checks in from his deathbed to interrupt and tells them to talk about Indian people. This episode is chaos in shorts. True summer vibes. No lessons, no structure—just greasy hot dogs, high blood pressure, and fat guy fun. It's going to be a wild summer!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 298
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:00 - Who's The Tom & Who's The Bert?
00:08:23 - The Gay Family Man
00:13:56 - Bert's Request
00:21:43 - My War Criminal Neighbor
00:27:19 - Epstein Lists, Toothless Looks, & Fat Guy Speedballs
00:34:49 - We're Just Slowly Dying
00:45:19 - Fourth Of July
00:53:33 - Radical Acceptance
00:58:53 - Chrissy D's Favorite Holiday
01:05:11 - Wrap Up
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Jul 21
1 hr 14 min
Video

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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on sports. They talk about Brett Favre's fall from grace, the greatness of the 2001 Baltimore Ravens, the unbeatable aura of Tony Siragusa, and the dynamic duo of Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham. Before that, Bert shares some stories about going over to T-Pains house. The bears also discuss how violence has made the WNBA more watchable, how good the ESPN "30 For 30" documentaries are, and the most unbelievable races people participate in. Plus: Bert tells a story about how he almost chainsawed a leg off on skates, the Red Bull Flutag, rat catchers, Bert's chicken murder mystery, and more!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 297
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:17 - T-Pain
00:10:08 - Brett Favre: Hero Or Villain?
00:19:15 - Tony Siragusa & The 2001 Baltimore Ravens
00:30:38 - Caitlin Clark & Sophie Cunningham
00:37:58 - Bert Almost Lost A Leg Skating
00:42:28 - Red Bull Flutag
00:49:23 - The Most Insane Race
00:57:11 - Rat Collectors
01:05:54 - Chicken Murder Mystery
01:11:02 - Wrap Up
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Jul 14
1 hr 14 min
Video

SPONSORS:
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- Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BEARS -- just pay $5 shipping.
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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer reunite in sunny California for a jam-packed episode full of FOMO, fatherhood, and flaming hot air balloon disasters. The bears talk about Tom’s California vacation and getting into surfing with his boys. They dig into wild parenting comparisons, Luis J. Gomez’s insane training routines, and Bert feeling FOMO for Andrew Schulz’s perfect summer life on Instagram.
Tom then drops major news about shooting a new Netflix movie called El Tigre, which leads to Bert sharing his own plans for filming the series Free Bert in Atlanta. With both Bears tied up all summer, they announce special "Summer Bears" episodes and name the two hosts Chris Distefano and Stavros Halkias. Things get political (kind of) as Bert and Tom debate who should talk about world issues—spoiler alert: it’s not them. Bert then rants about the sheer terror of hot air balloons and Tom tells another legendary Top Dog tale about how he diverted a plane so he could take a piss. Buckle up—it’s a bumpy (and hilarious) ride.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 296
https://tomsegura.com/tour
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https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:40 - Father FOMO
00:05:07 - The Summer Bears
00:16:45 - FaceTiming Chrissy D
00:20:16 - The Middle Class Of Comedy
00:33:09 - Bert Explains Global Politics
00:39:48 - Hot Air Balloons Are Sketch
00:49:29 - Crazy Plane Stories
01:00:17 - Helicopters
01:06:45 - Uber Driver Smackdown
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Jul 7
1 hr 11 min
Video

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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior.
They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos.
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:58 - DMV Hotties & Beefing With Kids
00:10:07 - Women & Children First
00:17:53 - Shame, Mel Gibson, & Lance Armstrong
00:24:57 - Famous People Committing Crimes
00:35:32 - Would You Rather?
00:39:13 - War Documentaries
00:44:48 - Slurs In Other Languages
00:53:44 - Names & The Studio Beef
00:59:11 - Japan & Uranium
01:05:08 - Lady Bert
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Jun 30
1 hr 9 min
Video

Check out Jim's new special Unconceivable right now on YouTube! Watch is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb05fiUz6cU
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-Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears
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This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by the legendary Jim Norton! The bears dive into Jim’s brand new special, why he no longer wants to be a cuck, and what it’s like to live shamelessly — including some very NSFW stories from Brazil.
Tom and Jim cover everything from a friendly Hitler and war documentaries to bombing onstage and the dark side of stand-up. They check out clips of Orson Welles’ drunk ad reads and William Shatner being difficult during a recording, and discuss JFK conspiracies, before pivoting to the power of charismatic maniacs like Jeffrey Epstein. Plus, Tom confronts his own comedy insecurities and Jim shares some Patrice O'Neal stories and breaks down the wildest moments from his years in radio. You don’t want to miss this one!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 294
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:38 - It's Hitler Summer
00:05:41 - Comedy Special Edits, Self-Hatred, & Narcissists
00:16:41 - Embracing Shame
00:23:49 - Dopamine Release
00:30:01 - Orson Welles & William Shatner
00:38:27 - Favorite Interview Guests & JFK Conspiracies
00:43:50 - Epstein
00:50:10 - Bombing
00:56:30 - Headliners
01:02:27 - Patrice O'Neal
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Jun 23
1 hr 11 min
Video
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