In this episode, I reflect on what it means to hold my rhythm, even when it’s challenging AF. If you been keeping up, you know I been big on talking about atoms and the microconnection they have to the o macro connectionmacroconnectiof stars lately. I use the metaphor of the sun—a star that doesn’t shift its light or heat just because someone says they’re cold. If it did, the consequences would be catastrophic for everything in the solar system's orbit. I realized that I’ve done the human version of that—altering my rhythm, light, and presence in past relationships to "FIX" the other partners. And not only did I fail, but it nearly broke me.This is my story of stepping away from what I know I was supposed to be doing, doing something else, and slowly making my way back through the emotional friction of grief, guilt, and shame, as well as the insecurities that I've been holding on to. I speak like I used to when I was in rhythm, being REAL. You'll hear me talk about being emotionally manipulated, (as hard as that is to admit as someone who identifies as rather emotionally intelligent) about my pattern and concerns of being used as someone so openly visible about my life in general, and about the weight I’ve carried trying to be "good" and take all the accountability for what 2 people were part of. I been holding that in all year and this past week it was put in my face.But this isn’t just about pain. It’s about transmutation. About how I’ve found my way back to being the regulating presence I am when I’m in alignment—through smudging with First Peoples of the land (Shoutout to Sedalia) in Canada, through pulling doubles in therapy, and through naming what I was most ashamed to admit: that I kept to myself and dumbed myself down not for me to grieve and heal, but out of fear of being made into content, which still happened. I don't bash my ex for anything, I just speak my experience now after very thorough processing with the intention of what the title is, transmitting stigma into healing. I love her and every version of her I saw during our relationship and after even during her outward version of grief. But this ain't about her, it's about this thing that's bigger than me as it hasn't been. I'm not trying to defend myself. I've been told I'm holding on to something despite how well things are going for me, and it's hard to receive because I'm clinging to my truth and repressing a part of myself that screams to be let out every day before I go to bed and first thing when I wake up.I very thoughtfully and mindfully share this podcast episode, with intention of communicating my feelings. The same way herpes has taught me lessons in healing, I truly believe the end of my relationship was a much deeper surfacing of my own insecurities which all stem from trying to "save" or "protect" people and ain't no more room for that AND for me to be present as I have been. This episode is for anyone who’s dimmed their light to be loved, anyone who' feels like they've been used, anyone who's holding on. For anyone still healing and needs a reminder that you don’t need to change who you are. You can make necessary adjustments that support your becoming who you are, but don't let anyone manipulate you into changing who you are.

In this vulnerable and insightful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame speaks with Jhivan, who shares their experience navigating life three months post-herpes diagnosis. The conversation explores the emotional and sexual impact of the diagnosis, the fear of transmission, and the internal debate around only dating people who have the same type of herpes.Together, they unpack:What it means to avoid intimacy after a diagnosisThe logic behind only dating people with the same HSV typeHow fear of transmission affects identity and sexual expressionThe cultural stigma differences between Europe, the Caribbean, and the U.S.Learning your body, triggers, and finding peace in the new normalThis episode is a powerful listen for anyone who’s felt the pressure to protect others at the expense of their own connection needs, and for those questioning how to safely navigate dating after herpes.

2025 took me through it. The woman I thought I was building a future with left. I moved in with my grandma, then into my own spot, and just when I started to settle—boom—tornado. Total loss. In every direction of life, I felt resistance. Everything I did to “fix” things only made the weight heavier.That’s when I got the message from what I can only describe as the echo of my nervous system: do nothing.Not as in give up, but as in pause. Stop grasping. Let go. From that stillness, things started aligning again—without force, without explanation. That phrase became a mantra for me in the dark: do nothing. And I started noticing how much I was still trying to be liked, trying to defend myself in other people’s narratives. But “do nothing” showed me those stories are theirs to hold—not mine.“All my effort and action taken just kept creating unnecessary resistance between what I chose and acquiring it.”“There are stories people carry about me—some that have nothing to do with me, some that do, and some that are about their own avoidance of accountability.”“Do nothing. That was the message. And when I did nothing, blessings and pleasant experiences validated that choice.”“Depression was the teacher herpes could never be. And we see what I’ve done with herpes.”“The same way the sun became the star it is through pressure, heat, and friction—I’m becoming through stagnancy, expectation, and failure.”This episode is a marker for me. A timestamp. A reminder that I don’t have to react to the world around me. I get to orient my internal world—my beliefs, my nervous system, my rhythm—and trust that the external world will shape around that alignment.What came through this period of stillness wasn’t defeat—it was clarity. This is how I remember who I am. And this episode is my declaration of that remembrance.

In this intimate conversation, Melissa LeSane opens up about the messiness of living through transition—stepping away from her role as a therapist, navigating a marriage of over two decades, entering a new relationship, and rediscovering herself as a sensitive, spiritual being.What begins as a discussion on non-monogamy turns into a reflection on how presence—not perfection—is the path back to wholeness. Melissa and Courtney explore the weight of expectations, emotional overstimulation, and the courage to allow identity to shift in real time.

There's a stigma about breakups that you're only supposed to remember and recall the negative so you stay away, heal, don't go back. Especially for men, we're supposed to get someone younger, hotter, make more money, and get hotter. And to do this, you almost have to over-identify with this smallness of self and lean into that negative state. I choose differently. I don't Miss my Ex. I miss my Motherfucking Homie ya'll. I've tried to just keep this to myself but it won't stay and I feel the pressure build up and as I navigate convos it seeps out unconsciously. So I took my time, wrote this, slept on it, reflected, and feel like this validates my own identity as someone navigating grief.

bell hooks defined "queer" as a way of describing oneself without being confined by fixed definitions or labels. It's about acknowledging one's authenticity and living a life that aligns with that self, even if it doesn't fit neatly into conventional categories like "gay" or "straight." For hooks, being queer also meant being at odds with societal norms and finding ways to thrive on one's own terms. In this solo episode, I explore how queer community, education, and presence have deeply influenced my understanding of masculinity—not by changing who I am, but by giving me the freedom to express it with more honesty, softness, and presence.As a cisgender heterosexual Black man, I’ve found more validation of my identity in queer spaces than in the spaces I was told I “belonged” in. This episode is a reflection on that truth, especially at the intersection of Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month.I also share how stigma—specifically herpes stigma—has been a gateway into deeper self-inquiry around identity, performance, and liberation. Using Bell Hooks’ definition of queerness as a guide, I talk about how embracing the challenge of unbecoming has brought me closer to who I actually am.This is for anyone rethinking what masculinity looks like when it’s not measured in dominance or stats—but in connection, curiosity, and care.

Last time I was at STI Engage it was in 2019 where I submitted an abstract on how people living with herpes could find psycho-social support for their mental health through podcasts. Fast forward 6 years later after hundreds of thousands of podcast listens, tens of thousands of conversations, thousands of survey responses, and hundreds of podcasts, we're back with a lot more clarity and consistency to present on the power of what was born through podcasting, the creation of community. Listen in on my session live from Phoenix AZ where I lead the room through a meditation on what stigma feels like at a somatic level, use a real time example of the support cycle from someone seeking it, to it being met by identity validation and community. If you have a conference or opportunity for SPFPP to share our story, reach out through www.spfpp.org. I'm also always looking for guests to share their experiences with stigma so if you're interested, let me know!

MAN! I forgot what I said the episode title would be but it rhymed and it was cold ya'll! You'll hear it in the episode.In this solo episode, I reflect on what the tornado that hit St. Louis took from me—and, more importantly, what it gave me. I talk about the gift of presence, the importance of environment, and how stigma fragments our sense of self. It’s through presence—being still, aligned, and honest—that we pull ourselves back together from that fragmentation.I also announce that Mondays at 7:30pm Central are now dedicated to SPFPP events, creating a space for us to connect, reflect, and hold presence together.This episode is a reminder that my purpose has always been to empower people navigating stigma with a sense of choice—how they move, how they heal, how they align. I share my gratitude for my support system during this time of displacement and how this season has clarified that it’s time for me to follow through on what I was meant to do: move to New York.This isn’t about running back to comfort—this is about orbiting my purpose. I’m ready to take SPFPP and my life to the next evolution by aligning my beliefs, behaviors, and environment with who I really am: someone who values challenge and liberation above all else.

This was quite a conversational car ride with my friend/board member, Dr. Amber Sophus. We were talking about how people with different income levels process their herpes diagnosis differently and access and willingness to seek out resources for support looks different for these groups as well. The conversation led into some discussions about how people (mainly women) talk to themselves, how I need to stop calling myself homeless, and a few other identity components that open up the runway for future discussions on stigma. Dr. Sophus works in public health so naturally we spoke more about STIs, sexual health, and behaviors around people knowing that HIV is more manageable, and we have pre-exposure meds that treat Chlamydia chlamydia and gonorrhea, and their risk tolerances.I've been a little ungrounded lately just due to life events. I'm getting back into my rhythm of consistently recording podcast episodes so thank you for your patience with me as I shake off the cobwebs from these past two weeks.I mention our webinar tonight on disclosure which can currently be found at www.spfpp.org/events (you have to register) but it'll be over after 7pm central time and you'll have to reach out to me for the recording access, but there's time if you're reading/listening to this on May 23rd before then.Enjoy this conversation.

What does it mean to live in alignment—with your identity, your energy, and your story? In this soulful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is joined by astrologer Tasha Beg (aka Agent of Pluto) for a powerful conversation about identity, ego death, and the journey from shame to self-trust. Together, they explore the intersections of presence, stigma, astrology, and atomic awareness—unpacking what happens when we stop performing and start just being.Connect with Tasha at www.agentofpluto.comIG: @agent.of.plutoIG: @thepopastrologist