Judgment says more about the judg-er than the judg-ee. It’s not Judgement – Bad. It’s Judgment-Interesting.Everybody judges and in truth, we unconsciously evaluate good/bad all the time – both positively and negatively. It’s our brains appraisal system. However unchecked it’s also a very handy interpersonal defense. Today we explore one aspect of insecure functioning, unchecked judgment and harsh self-criticism.It is just one common insecure pattern to think in absolutes and moral righteousness, and before you judge judgers, those of us who’s favorite flavor is self-criticism and self-judgement please be warned that harsh scale extends quickly to those close to us.  Fun times to grow and learn we tell ya!!In This Episode of Therapist Uncensored,Co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott break down the big picture of attachment and take a deep dive into just one of the habits of insecure attachment – how we use judgment! Turn on your curiosity and notice your judgments as we go – it’s kinda fun, actually.The Pleasure of JudgementDescription of what self-righteous judgment looks like presented in an anecdotal but accurate way.Quick ReviewEvery human being has a system to manage threat.Blue – you down-regulateRed – you up-regulateThe Role of JudgmentMethod of self-protectionResponse to a feeling of threat2 types: self-righteous or self-criticalSelf-Righteous JudgmentIt’s a great feeling.What’s really going on underneath?Disconnection from threat in our own bodySlowing down to experience what we are judgingFortified defenseNot pathological, it’s protectiveExample of Blue JudgmentFear of VulnerabilityJudging to keep at a distanceExample of Red JudgmentTelling others what they are doing wrongJudging to prevent expressing fear of abandonment underneathNon-JudgmentInability to create a judgment can be an indication that we can’t have a sense of self and an essence of threat, and that clearly defining ourselves is too vulnerable. (red-side of insecure spectrum, usually)Judgment Can Be A Healthy ProtectionNot all judgment is badExplore it.Righteousness to RelationalityExploring the movie about Harriet TubmanThe moral high roadRighteousness as the lazy man’s wayMaking the moveEffecting change while staying in the relationshipSelf-JudgmentAlso the lazy man’s roadSame old negative thoughtsNo movement and no new neural pathways being builtKeeps us stuckMoving from self-loathing to connectionPutting our feet to the fireIt’s not that it’s pathological – it’s information. We think it’s information about the other person, but really it can be a window into something more interesting if we open up to exploring it.  Why do you judge THAT in particular? What parts of others make your skin crawl? Check if it’s disowned parts of yourself that you are attempting to distance from or stamp out in others. You see…. now it gets interesting and the door opens rather than slams close on the object of our scrutiny.Practice Noticing With CompassionFind your version of what it is that you’re judging.Have a little smile of humor when you catch yourself being judgmentalExplore what’s underneath ResourcesHealing Your Attachment Wounds by Diane Pool HellerHealing Developmental Trauma Lawrence HellerSelf-Compassion, the Hidden Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin NeffAlso check out TU73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff Who doesn’t love special offers?Our course is now available for a deeply discounted early release price! While this course is aimed toward clinicians (CE’s available!), all who are highly interested in deepening the security in yourselves and your relationships are welcome to participate. Price increases on October 22, 2019 when it is released to the wider public.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.