Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More AliveWhat makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout?It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well.But don’t sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex.Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations.Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly.IntroductionGeneral difficulties in discussing sex with your partnerLearning to talk about talking about sexDesire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sexThe difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikesWhen and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life?How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle groundDesires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communicationDifference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasiesPart of women’s fantasies is being desiredCaretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissismAvoiding arousal/desire censorship How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resourcesAppreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication settingWrap up and outro ResourcesMating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, former guest on our show.The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Laurie B. MintzCome as You Are by Emily NagosakiWe appreciate our sponsor TheraNest!Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice.TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored. Please click above and check it out.Want to support this work and stay in touch?The best way to stay in touch right now is to join our Facebook page (click here) where we post more frequently – also find our private FB page by joining the public one!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.