Dating bites (& no, that’s not necessarily a complaint :)). Learn to get out there and enjoy yourself as you peruse your choices.  This episode is for everyone – all genders and sexualities – but today we focus on same-sex oriented women in the LGBTQ community.If you’re a queer woman who has been struggling with your dating life or if you’re still considering whether or not to come out, you’ll enjoy this discussion with co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, and Austin-base therapist Pam Greenstone. They’ ll discuss the importance of building up a multi-faceted support system, identifying red flags in a partner as well as yourself, and pacing out a relationship.Learn to identify internalized sexual stigma and how to come to rely on others to keep you regulated in the early days of dating someone new. You’ll learn about some researched differences in dating in the heterosexual community and that in the LGBTQI community as well as gender role differences that come to play in some, but not all, same-sex relationships.SIGN UP FOR OUR LIVE CONFERENCE ON ATTACHMENT APRIL 7, 2018 –  Healing Adult Attachment, the 3 Pillars of Integrated Treatment  with Dr. David Elliott (Thank you to our fabulous co-sponsor Austin IN Connection.)Online reading group to start mid April, 2018 for Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults Comprehensive Treatment and Repair (Norton 2016) by Daniel Brown and David Elliott. Reserve your slot today!IntroductionInclusivity of LGBTQI community and discussionPam’s interest in the topic, desire for healthy dating patterns in communityCultural context of homophobia, internalized sexual stigma, difficulty of ascribing to typical gender normsImportance of the support systemImportance of gay pride as celebration rather than merely tolerationBuilding up an adequate support systemConcentric circles of support: Self (middle) (Family & Friends/Layer A) (Layer B) (Layer C)Middle Layer: Working on your own internalized sexual stigma, deciding whether or not to come out and the actual factors in that decisionLayer A: People that support you and will come get you. They know when something is off in your dating life(Myth of) the U-Haul effectLooking for your own red flagsThe notion of a partner “being the one” vs. nurturing a pairingIdentifying red flagsPacing in dating is vital, pushing for space to know how you feel without themValue of group therapy while dating, ability of others to see when you’re impaired in a way from dopamineImportance of remembering you’re flawed as well and finding a “good enough” partnerFiguring out how much to share with partner right off the bat, enjoying the infancy of a relationship and not rushingGetting out of dating and taking the pressure offSocialization of women to not disappoint or initiateYou don’t have to take responsibility for someone else’s emotionsStrength of gay men – capacity of direct honestyDifferences between male and female same-sex couplesIf you’re dating, look at your support system, look at your own red flags as well as others, finding a pace in datingWrap up and outro Resources:If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kasl Pam’s recommendation for what to read next.How to contact Pam!Conscious Lesbian Dating and Love Ruth Schwarts and Michelle MurrainLesbian Sex Bible by Diana Cage (just so we are clear that women can have fun dating and not jump to relationships)Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior by Doug Braun-Harvey (previous Therapist Uncensored guest with GLBTQI focus, this book is NOT related to gay dating but a different topic that we are just re-introducing because of it’s pro-sex inclusive messaging, which Doug brings.)Better yet, hear our interview Refreshing Sexual Vitality with Doug Braun-Harvey,See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.