Our guest, Chuck Copenspire and his identitiesFormer queer life coachHe/theyMake corporate environments gayer, more efficient and more accessibleCombining skill sets of sex work, trauma-informed, accessibility and neurodivergenceDEITo chuckCreating space where an actual human can thrive without needing to pretend Contribute true gifts- special brain and incredibly powerful when applied to the right problemsNot only creating opportunities, but proactively seeking out people who think “they cannot do it”Getting out of the way and making room for other peopleBDSMEmpowered in bossy/take no shit/boundaries part of themselvesUnwillingness to consent to power dynamics that don’t make senseThey need to be a respectable person, if they want respectBirthDysphoria around default she/mama/Brought into contrast his masculine experienceHerpesHSV1 positive for 12 years, 20 when first experienced symptomsGetting comfortable with disclosure2 or 3 rejections Act of disclosure helped formalize consent boundaries for himExplicit consent for any bodily interactionsSexual health is mental healthShadow work/ Integration workLiving in shadow is the self you were taught to hideFound BDSM spaces as a consenting space to be greedy, bossy, sadistic, silly, to be anythingRegardless of BDSM element in one’s sexuality, there is inherently a shamed self who can be integrated with public presentable selfDanger of not integrating- non consensually humiliating people he had crushes onBook: “Romancing the Shadow”Favorite fetish- helping straight people realize they’re gayHow people react to dating him and realizing they are more queer than they thoughtDenialCuriosityFear/anxiety: what will happen if they start to be gay, doing something wrongChallenging/validating/invalidating identities of people he datesHaving identity challenged brings a lot up for people’s safety Ways you feel comfortable being approachedMasks w/ pronounsMy identity is not validated by other people’s reception of it. It is mine and validated by me.Finding a space where he belongedIn Spokane in his 20’s in drag and comedy sceneMaking mistakes and failuresCultDestroyed a cultSolo parentingNavigate disclosingWelcome new ppl into community, to sense if there’s the energy to discloseIf a kiss might be coming, let them know I’m HSV1 positiveGetting self-consent! Checking in and being a partner with his bodyClosing: 1 message, 3 asksStay curiousIf you wanna talk to him, please doWilling to adopt a scorpion or tarantulaMeet & hold a super billionaire to let them cry in his armsLinkedIn: Chuck CopenspireInstagram: your.pansexual.crisis