What to do when your father bequeaths you his sexy leather britches.

TODAY'S QUESTION:

Dear Grawlix,

My boomer dad recently gave me a pair of black leather pants that he had custom made for himself many decades ago. They no longer fit him. Sadly, they do fit me.

He made a crude joke when he handed them over about how much “tail” I’d get when I wear them. I’m happily married. Gross.

I want nothing to do with my dad’s “sexy” pants but he appears to genuinely love them and I suspect would be very upset were I to “disappear” them.

How do I get rid of these pants?

Signed,
- Pleat the fifth

P.S. I considered sending a picture of me in the pants but chickened out. Sorry. The internet’s forever.

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