Another game, another capitulation, another meltdown. After a promising start, Australia found a new way to fall to India, tangled in Ashwin and Jadeja’s web. Thankfully, Healso and Dos are on the case, one with a masterclass in trackies, another with a literal broom on the pitch. Very simple, Chalk. Elsewhere, Australia’s women do it with their eyes closed, so we provide news of their impeding win ahead of time. No doubt that will be appreciated. Bazball reign supreme in Mt Maunganui, so as a coping mechanism we focus on journalist reactions and the sheer wetness of The Nighthawk. To wrap up, AskTGC is about confusing Faf du Plessis with linguistics.

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